


Who Done It?

by sharkfin (lovelcce)



Category: The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: A-Qing as Mrs White, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Clue (1984) Fusion, Alternate Universe - Murder Mystery, Clue (board game), Deal With It, Gen, Jin Guangyao as Mr Boddy, Jin Ling as Colonel Mustard, Lan Jingyi as Professor Plum, Lan Sizhui as Mr Green, Mo Xuanyu as The Butler, Murder, Murder Mystery, Murdery Mystery Dinner Party, Ouyang Zizhen as Miss Scarlet, Song Jianyu as Mrs Peacock, Song Jianyu is a name I came up with for the Round Faced Girl character, anyways into the characters:, because I say so, because the movie's set in america and im lazy, clue, emotionally exhausted writer coming with a dead au from her long ass list of ideas, follows the movie plot completely i am too tired to do anything else, not finished, oh yeah this is set in america
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25045747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelcce/pseuds/sharkfin
Summary: On June 9, 1954, six strangers are invited to a secluded New England mansion.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

The butler steps into the inner hall of Hill House, scraping dog shit off his shoe before carefully hanging his coat in the closet. It’s supposed to rain terribly tonight, and Mo Xuanyu does not intend to be caught in it. Of course Xuanyu is not the butler’s real name, none of the guests tonight will be referred to by the names they carry everyday. Instead, the host of the dinner party has chosen pseudonyms for everyone, even the butler. Down the grand hall is the library, where the maid is polishing a glass and listening to some rock and roll song that grates against Xuanyu’s nerves. Simply unplugging the record player, the music shudders to a stop and the maid turns with one raised eyebrow.

“Is everything ready?”

“Oui, monsieur.” The maid nods, placing the glass carefully on the table and then adjusting the short skirt that showed more of her legs than should be allowed.

“You have your instructions?” Xuanyu says, waiting for a replying nod before quickly leaving the room.

The maid sniffs the air, her nose wrinkled. Lifting each foot in turn, she checks the bottom of her high heels.

The doorbell rings, and the butler turns away from the path to the kitchens to grab the door. Outside stands a man a long trench coat over a rather plain, but obviously well tailored suit.

“Good evening.” Xuanyu smiles with a small bow as he lets the man in.

“Good evening.” The man replies in turn. “I don’t know if-“

“Yes, indeed, sir, you are expected, Colonel.” Xuanyu assures, holding out an arm. “May I take your coat? It is Colonel Mustard, isn’t it?”

“No, that’s not my name. My name is Jin-“ The man begins, for the truth is that his name is Jin Rulan.

“Excuse me, sir, but tonight you may well feel obliged to my employer for the use of an alias.”

Colonel Mustard, if at least for the night, nods with reluctance but hands over his coat all the same. As the butler turns towards the closet, the Colonel sniffs the air before attempting to discreetly check the soles of his shoes. As the butler turns away, the two walk down the hall to the library.

“And who are you, sir?” Colonel Mustard asks, eyeing the other man up and down.

“I’m Xuanyu, sir. The butler.” He opens the door to the library.

Yvette turns to attention with a glass of cognac in her hands, which she offers to Colonel Mustard with a small bow.

“Yvette, will you attend to the Colonel and give him anything he requires?” Xuanyu asks, before pausing to smile tightly. “Within reason, that is.”

The butler exits before anything more can be said, closing the door once more.

“Oh, Xuanyu, I was-“ Colonel Mustard says, turning to continue talking only to find that the door itself has been replaced by more bookshelves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy my work, and would like to interact with me, here's my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/wcnqinq)! Sometimes I post snippets or thoughts as I write - or whole scenes that mean either everything or nothing <3


	2. Chapter 2

The doorbell rings for a second time, and Xuanyu opens the door to find a woman dressed dramatically in a black dress and veil.

“Do come in, madam. You are expected.” The butler bows.

“Do you know who I am?” The woman asks, lifting the veil to reveal a pair of assumedly unseeing eyes.Her name is A-Qing, and while she once pretended to be blind while begging on the street, she can see perfectly fine.

“Only that you are to be known as Mrs. White.” Xuanyu smiles, motioning to take her coat.

“Yes, it said so in the letter. But why?” Mrs. White says with a soft laugh to her voice. She removes her coat, which flashes in the lights with a white inner line. The woman sniffs and she, too, checks her heels.

In the library, Xuanyu smiles tightly as he leads Mrs. White into the room. Colonel Mustard sips at his drink while occasionally glancing at Yvette, as if trying to place where he knows her from.

“Ah. May I introduce you? Mrs. White, this is Yvette, the maid.” Xuanyu says, and watches carefully as the two women side eye each other with disgust. “I see you know each other.”

Turning away in dismissal, Mrs White acknowledges the Colonel. “Hello.”

“Hello.” He replies tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy my work, and would like to interact with me, here's my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/wcnqinq)! Sometimes I post snippets or thoughts as I write - or whole scenes that mean either everything or nothing <3


	3. Chapter 3

The next guest is a woman with a pretty round face, which is wrinkled around the eyes and mouth from smiling. Her name is Song Jianyu. She wears a very modest dress, and a shawl that is merely for decoration.

“And this is Mrs. Peacock.” Xuanyu announces as the woman smiles politely.

“How do you do?” Colonel Mustard bows.

“Hello.” Mrs White says.

“Yvette, will you go and check that dinner will be ready as soon as all the guests have arrived?” Xuanyu says as the maid steps closer to hand Mrs Peacock a glass of cognac.

The maid nods, bowing slightly in a form of goodbye. Mrs Peacock looks disapprovingly at the maid’s bared cleavage as the girl leaves the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy my work, and would like to interact with me, here's my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/wcnqinq)! Sometimes I post snippets or thoughts as I write - or whole scenes that mean either everything or nothing <3


	4. Chapter 4

The doorbell rings, and now as Xuanyu opens the door, he notes that it has begun to rain rather heavily. Though the man standing on the front steps seems to have just missed the downpour. His name is Lan Shizhui. He wears a pair of rounded glasses and a slightly wrinkled work suit.

“Is this the right address to meet Mr. Guangyao?” The man asks.

“Oh, you must be Mr. Green.” Xuanyu bows, quickly letting the man inside. There is a growling noise from outside: the house’s two guard dogs tightly chained outside the front door.

“Yes…” Mr Green says, bowing back and eyeing the two dogs with nervous eyes.

“Sit!” Xuanyu commands the dogs, though Mr Green immediately sits himself on the nearby bench just outside the front door. “No. Not you, sir.”

Mr Green laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he stand and enters the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy my work, and would like to interact with me, here's my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/wcnqinq)! Sometimes I post snippets or thoughts as I write - or whole scenes that mean either everything or nothing <3


	5. Chapter 5

The doorbell rings, and now as Xuanyu opens the door, he notes that it has begun to rain rather heavily. Though the man standing on the front steps seems to have just missed the downpour. His name is Lan Shizhui. He wears a pair of rounded glasses and a slightly wrinkled work suit.

“Is this the right address to meet Mr. Guangyao?” The man asks.

“Oh, you must be Mr. Green.” Xuanyu bows, quickly letting the man inside. There is a growling noise from outside: the house’s two guard dogs tightly chained outside the front door.

“Yes…” Mr Green says, bowing back and eyeing the two dogs with nervous eyes.

“Sit!” Xuanyu commands the dogs, though Mr Green immediately sits himself on the nearby bench just outside the front door. “No. Not you, sir.”

Mr Green laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he stand and enters the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy my work, and would like to interact with me, here's my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/wcnqinq)! Sometimes I post snippets or thoughts as I write - or whole scenes that mean either everything or nothing <3


	6. Chapter 6

The door bell rings again, and Xuanyu opens the door to reveal two guests watching the rain.

“Professor Plum! And Miss Scarlet. I didn’t realize you were aquatinted.” Xuanyu says, stepping to the side to let the two inside.

Professor Plum wears a simple black suit and bow tie, though his real name is Jingyi. Miss Scarlet, on the other hand, is not a woman at all. Though the pseudonym doesn’t bother Ouyang Zizhen at all. He’s dressed rather comfily in a tight fitting green dress.

“We weren’t.” Miss Scarlet says with a disinterested look sent towards the professor.

The library door opens once more, revealing Xuanyuas he leads the two new guests in.

“May I present Professor Plum and Miss Scarlet.” The butler smiles and the other guests nod in greeting.

Yvette hands the two new comers their glasses of cognac, pointedly ignoring the way Professor Plum stares at her. The maid steps away, and the Professor clinks his glass with Miss Scarlet’s, who looks rather annoyed by the gesture.

“Of course, since you’ve each been addressed by a pseudonym, you’ll have realized that nobody here is being addressed by their real name.” Xuanyu says, and the gathered group all glance at each other.

Down the hall, the cook bangs a gong twice. It startles the group, and Mr Green jumps rather high. His drink lands right on Mrs Peacock’s expensive shawl.

“Ah. Dinner.” The butler smiles, having been entirely unphased by the loud noise. He steps to the side to let the group out of the room.

“I am so sorry. I’m a little accident-prone.” Mr Green apologizes as he almost drops his glass onto the nearest table. He pulls his handkerchief out and attempts to mop the spot on her shawl, but the woman merely clucks her tongue and steps around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy my work, and would like to interact with me, here's my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/wcnqinq)! Sometimes I post snippets or thoughts as I write - or whole scenes that mean either everything or nothing <3


	7. Chapter 7

The dining room is across the hall from the library, and connect to the kitchen for easy access for the staff to bring food and fresh drinks. There’s a small chandelier that hangs above the table, which is set with beautiful china and small nametags at every seat. Xuanyu leads them all in with his ever present smile.

“You’ll find your name besides your places. Please be seated.” He says, pulling out a chair and offering the seat to Mrs. White, who nods tightly before sitting.

Colonel Mustard pauses, hovering just above his own seat as he notes the empty chair at the head of the table. “Is this place for you?”

“Oh, indeed, no, sir. I’m merely a humble butler.” Xuanyu laughs, picking up a fresh bottle to refill everyone’s glasses.

“And what exactly do you do?” Mustard says, dropping into his seat as he doesn’t bother to conceal his suspicion of the man.

“I bottle, sir.”

“Which means what?”

“The butler is head of the kitchen and dining room. I keep everything tidy. That’s all.” Xuanyu says, calmly offering Mrs. Peacock a fresh napkin to help with the stain on her dress. The woman smiles and accepts it, shooting a quick glare at Mr. Green.

“Well, what’s all this about, butler; this dinner party?” Mrs. Peacock asks, firmly cutting off the Colonel before he can even begin.

“‘Ours is not a reason why… ours is but to do and die.’” Xuanyu smiles.

“Die?” Professor Plum says, looking up from his glass with wide eyes.

Xuanyu doesn’t even flinch. “Merely quoting, sir, from Alfred, Lord Tennyson.”

“I prefer Kipling, myself. ‘The female of the species is more deadly than the male.’” Colonel Mustard says, lifting a plate of appetizers and offering them to Miss Scarlet. “Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?”

“Sure, I’ll eat anything.” Scarlet replies, smiling as he accepts an appetizer.

Yvette enters from the kitchen, and the guests all turn their heads to her as she begins placing bowls in front of each guest.

“Shark Fin Soup, Madame.” The maid says, gently putting the bowl down for Mrs. Peacock. The woman looks away with a disgusted look as Yvette leans forward to do so.

Colonel Mustard motions towards the empty seat once more. “So is this for our host?”

“No, sir. For the seventh guest, Mr. Boddy.” Xuanyu says, and there’s a pause as the guests exchange worried glances.

“I thought Mr. Boddy was our host.” Mrs. White frowns, to which the rest of the table agrees. “So, who is our host, Xuanyu?”

The butler chuckles softly with a smile, before quietly leaving the room for the kitchen.

“Well, why don’t we start, while it’s still hot.” Professor Plum says, picking up his spoon.

“Oh, now shouldn’t we wait for the other guest?” Mrs. Peacock says with disapproval, ever the epitome of manners.

“I will keep something warm for him.” Yvette says, placing the last bowl down for Miss Scarlet.

“What did you have in mind, dear?” The man laughs, noting how low the maid’s neckline is.

The guests all lapse into silence as they begin to eat. A few of them glance at the others occasionally, as though they don’t trust who they’re dining with. Professor Plum slurps loudly from his spoon, and the other guests freeze for a moment before continuing to eat with the noise. Mrs. Peacock, who’s seated next to the professor, shifts nervously for a few moments before dropping her fork onto the table.

“Well, someone’s got to break the ice, and it might as well be me.” Mrs. Peacock says, her voice almost breathless as she smiles and looks at the other guests. “I mean, I’m used to being a hostess; it’s part of my husband’s work, and it’s always difficult when a group of new friends meet together for the first time to get acquainted, so I’m perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling. I mean, I have absolutely no idea what we’re doing here, or what I’m doing here, or what this place is about, but I am determined to enjoy myself and I’m very intrigued and oh, my, this soup’s delicious isn’t it?”

The other guests stare at the woman, who merely smiles with her eyes closed.

“You say you’re used to being a hostess as part of your husband’s work?” Mrs. White says, leaning forward to look over at the other woman.

“Yes, it’s an integral part of your life when you are the wife of a-“ Mrs. Peacock blinks, before laughing. “Oh, but then I forgot we’re not supposed to say who we really are,though heavens to Betsy, I don’t know why.”

“Don’t you.” Colonel Mustard deadpans.

“I know who you are.” Mr. Green says, carefully putting down his glass as Mrs. Peacock dramatically drops her hands onto the table.

“Aren’t you going to tell us?” Miss Scarlet grins, leaning towards the man.

“How do you know who I am?” Mrs. Peacock says, stammering slightly.

“I work in Washington, too.” Mr. Green smiles, as though he and Mrs. Peacock are in on a secret.

“Washington? So, you’re a politician’s wife.” Professor Plum says, and the woman glances over at him.

“Yes, I-I am.”

“Well, come on, then. Who’s your husband?” Colonel Mustard says.

The kitchen door opens, revealing Xuanyu. The butler begins to take away the dishes of soup from the table.

“So, what does your husband do?” Mrs. Peacock say, looking over at Mrs. White.

“Nothing.” The other woman says, though a touch too quickly.

“Nothing?”

“Well, he just… lies around on his back all day.” Mrs. White says, grabbing her glass and taking a rather large sip from it.

“Sounds like hard work to me.” Miss Scarlet smirks.

Yvette opens the door to the kitchen just as a crash of thunder rolls through the house. The noises once again startle Mr. Green, who spill his drink; though this time it’s over Miss Scarlet.

“I’m so sorry.” He apologizes, again, as Mrs. Peacock watches with a rather judgmental look. “I’m afraid I’m a little accident prone.”

The man grabs a napkin and begins to dab at Miss Scarlet’s clothes, though is stopped as he begins to dab at the other man’s lap.

“Whoah, watch it.” Scarlet says, grabbing onto his wrist as Mr. Green flushes.

Yvette, who had been putting out the main course for the meal, finishes. And she takes the now dirty napkin from Mr. Green as she leaves the room.

“Mm! This is one of my favorite recipes!” Mrs. Peacock says to Xuanyu, who is refilling her glass once again.

“I know, madam.” The butler replies.

“So, what do you do in Washington, Mr. Green?” Mrs. Peacock looks over at the man, who sits in silence with his cheeks still burning. “Come on, what do you do? I mean how are we supposed to get acquainted if we don’t say anything about ourselves?”

“Perhaps he doesn’t want to get acquainted with you.” Miss Scarlet smiles sharply.

“Well, I’m sure I don’t know, but if I wasn’t trying to keep the conversation going, then we would just be sitting her in an embarrassed silence.” Mrs. Peacock says rather airily, putting down her silverware.

“Are you afraid of silence, Mrs. Peacock?” Professor Plum asks, turning in his seat to face her.

“Yes! What? No, why?”

“Oh, it just seems to me that you seem to suffer from what we call pressure of speech.”

“We?” Miss Scarlet says, raising an eyebrow. “Who’s we? Are you a shrink?”

“I do know a little bit about psychological medicine, yes.” Plum says.

“Are you a doctor?” Mrs. White blinks in surprise.

“I am, but I don’t practice.” Professor Plum faintly blushes at this.

“Practise makes perfect.” Miss Scarlet smiles. “I think most men need a little practice. Don’t you, Mrs. Peacock?”

The woman in question shrugs noncommittally, looking away uncomfortably.

“So what do you do, Professor?” Mrs. White asks, content to completely ignore Miss Scarlet.

“I work for U-NO, the United Nations Organization.”

“Another politician. Jesus!” Colonel Mustard scoffs.

“No, I work for a branch of U-NO. W. H. O., the World Health Organization.”

“Well, what is your area of special concern?” Mrs. Peacock says.

“Family planning.” Professor Plum smiles, and any trace of pleasant civility on Peacock’s face drops into shock. “What about you, Colonel? Are you a real colonel?”

“I am, sir.” Mustard nods.

“You’re not going to mention that you live in Washington, too?” Miss Scarlet asks innocently, taking another bite of his dinner.

“How did you know that? Have we met before?” Colonel Mustard asks, unsettled.

“I have certainly seen you before. Although, you may not have seen me.” Scarlet says.

“So, Miss Scarlet, does this mean that you live in Washington, too?” Mr. Green asks.

“Sure do!”

“Does anyone here not live in Washington, D.C.?” Mrs. Peacock laughs.

“I don’t.” Plum says.

“Yes, but you work for the United Nations.” Mr. Green says, leaning forwards in his seat. “That’s a government job. And the rest of us all live in a government town. Anyone here not earn their living from the government one way or another?”

Angrily, Colonel Mustard stands up, throwing his napkin onto the table. “Xuanyu, where’s our host, and why have we been brought here?”

Once again, the doorbell rings throughout the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so long!! And I wasn't even done writing this part, when I decided to cut the chapter!!! My apologies if this seems too dense compared to the beginning chapters!
> 
> If you enjoy my work, and would like to interact with me, here's my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/wcnqinq)! Sometimes I post snippets or thoughts as I write - or whole scenes that mean either everything or nothing <3


End file.
